Support (?) for Mr Paquette

Charlie of BiteSoundBite posted a response to Mr. Paquette.

An open letter to Mr. Paquette:

No, sir, you are not a villain–I don’t know who you are or what your ideas are but if anyone has made you feel bad about making a little money that is really too bad. Mr. Paquette please do not regret your decision to pursue a high salaried career. I realize that you suffer. This career has asked so much of you. It has dragged you to strange countries (presumably on airlines subsidized and repeatedly bailed out by tax dollars) where you’ve had to communicate via email (a function of the internet whose research and development was paid for by tax dollars).

Do not judge Paquette. This traveling is an enormous sacrifice he is making and all that he is asking for is that his income not be taxed, and that the media stop besmirching his character. And can we really blame him? Imagine his disappointment when after years of college and working in a bicycle factory (good luck finding a bicycle factory in America today) along side other conservatives (because liberals don’t work in bicycle factories?) he had to travel in order to make the kind of salary he desired. What’s more, some people wanted to tax him (didn’t they know he travelled? Hasn’t the man suffered enough?). Now of course none of these taxes were of the sort that allowed him any of the opportunities he had taken advantage of in his life, these were the sort of taxes that went to lazy people content to spend their August evenings at swim parties doing their crack cocaine purchased from food stamps. Oh what Paquette would have given to attend just one of those swanky shindigs, but the bicycles were not going build themselves!

And what kept Paquette going on those hot August nights? What kindled the fire inside his red blooded American heart? The idea that one day, if he worked hard and stayed away from swim parties, he could have a job that paid him an enormous sum of money with no obligation to contribute a damn thing to society except an honest day’s work.

Alas, that was a just dream Paquette. The innocence has long since died. Paquette grew up fast. He did what the company asked him to, he flew to far off strange places where the people walked on their hands and spoke in frenzied gibberish. He stayed in their foreign, upscale hotels, and ate their exotic attempts at steak. He drank their imported scotch and screwed their mid-range whores. And did it make him happy ?(well, happier than the he was at the bicycle factory)–ok for a while it did. But it got old, and one thing remained true to the end…Paquette had to pay taxes. Oh how this burned Paquette. It burned and burned there was only one salve to soothe this burning, it was the salve that had soothed him since he was just a child whose mother bribed him to be quiet on long car trips with candy (he was, after all, traveling) and that salve is known as self pitying and complaining. He spread his self pity and complaints far and wide but it didn’t help. There were still taxes and people who believed that taxes could help give opportunities to people whose circumstances allowed them fewer than most. There were still people who wanted to give some of what they had plenty of so that others could have just enough. I tell you, there is no salve for such an irritant. Paquette I stand with you against this great injustice. You, sir are not a villain, no sir. You sir, are a hero–an example to us all. God be with you on your harrowing stays at the Hyatt. God be with you sir in your consultations with your accountant. You are a hero. You are my hero. You are…PAQUETTE THE MIGHTY!!!!

Feel better?

charlie

(We’re not sure what to make of this. You decide. To read the rest, click the title and scroll down to ‘Paquette the Mighty!’)

(Note to Jamison: You ought to consider activating the permalinks so we can link to specific posts.)

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